5 Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem
Wondering how to increase your self-esteem? I’ve been there and I can get you out of there with these 5 steps. Practice them everyday and fairly soon you will see a difference in how you feel about yourself.
Question the Narrative
Many of us will use all or nothing language when we go down the spiral of negative self-talk. When you hear yourself say things with extremes, such as “I am the worst” or “I never do anything right” then you need to stop and examine your thinking. I bet there is no evidence to support your emotional reasoning of never doing anything right. I’m sure there are lots of things you do right. Sometimes we need to actively remember those things in order to see there is no evidence to support our negative thoughts.
Use Neutral Language
Often neutral language is easier to say to ourselves then overly positive language. “I’m trying my best” can often be seen as truer for ourselves rather than “I am the best” as it’s very hard to go from an extreme negative thought to an extreme positive thought. Using neutral language is a way to calm those ranging negative thoughts.
Be Clear on Who You Want to Be
Think about who you are now and who you want to be. Instead of getting down on yourself for not being that person, focus on what you can do in order to become that person. What step can you take today? What about tomorrow? The key is to focus on progress and not perfection. Each failure can be seen as an opportunity for growth. What can you learn from that failure? How can you grow from it? Self-esteem doesn’t come from using positive self-talk to mask a negative lifestyle. True self-esteem comes from choosing who you want to be and taking action to become that person.
Celebrate Your Wins
Each time you do something positive or achieve something, no matter how small it is, celebrate it. Recognizing your success is very important as it helps increase your self-esteem. In fact, a great exercise to rewire your brain is the ‘3 Good Things’ exercise. Basically, at the end of your day, write down 3 good things you did that day. Overtime this will help your brain more easily focus on the positive steps you’ve taken to be who you want to be while decreasing the all-encompassing negative self-talk.
Practice Self-Compassion
Replace judgment with self-compassion. Judgement is often done with words and thoughts whereas compassion is a feeling. Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself with grace and love. Understanding that struggle is something every human goes through. Therefore, that human experience brings us all together, instead of separating us, thus causing judgement. Struggle is part of the human experience. When a friend is struggling then we would talk to that friend with compassion. When we are struggling, we should treat ourselves with compassion and kindness, just as we would a friend.